DAY ONE
Tuesday, December 9, 2009
At high noon a large spaceship floated gently down out of a blue sky to land on the front lawn of the Parliament of India.
At high noon a large spaceship floated gently down out of a blue sky to land on the front lawn of the Parliament of India. It rested motionless for the next five hours while the Parliament hummed with activity. The Prime Minister was evacuated and then the military moved in with troops, tanks and helicopters. Stealth fighters roared overhead. Both Congress and the BJP called emergency sessions as a frightened world held its breath.
A small door opened in the side of the craft and a human-like creature stepped out.
At exactly 5:00 p.m., a small door opened in the side of the craft and a human-like creature stepped out.
As beings go, it wasn’t that alarming. About three feet tall, it had a large head atop a small body with two spindly legs.
As beings go, it wasn’t that alarming. About three feet tall, it had a large head atop a small body with two spindly legs. And there were feather-like appendages growing from its head as well as from what could have been a tail if it were a bird. But it moved like a human and wore a one-piece uniform of a gold metallic material that sparkled in the sun. Walking to the nearest soldier, it stopped short, its two unnaturally large eyes blinking twice. Then in perfect English with a high-pitched voice, it said, “Take me to your esteemed leader.”
Standing before the Prime Minister of the India, who was seated at his desk in the oval office
After much military and political dismay, the request was granted. Standing before the Prime Minister of the India, who was seated at his desk in the oval office surrounded by half a dozen secret agents, the little being bowed. “Prime Minister and Chief Commander, I humbly come to you as ambassador facilitator for an ancient and distinguished race. Please realize that you’re dealing with beings of such power that their purpose must be friendly or you’d have already been destroyed in my humble estimation.”
It paused to scratch the base of a head feather. “I myself am Inchu. My kind are respected throughout the universe as the finest of translators. I must tell you that the Xyxplys ship has been moored at the edge of your solar system for a year now while I’ve been studying your languages and customs on their behalf. I know all there is to know about all of you, in my humble opinion.”
The Prime Minister smiled halfheartedly, “Should I find that comforting?”
Inchu brightened, “Of course. Because I’m thorough I rarely make mistakes.” He shrugged. “I’ll admit to a few, but none that wasn’t rectified. I’m sorry to inform you that yours is not the only species I considered for contact on this planet. There are some others more appealing, but yours is the most intelligent. And yours is also the only species believing themselves in charge.”
The Prime Minister’s eyebrows lifted at such a statement.
Inchu continued, “For purposes of decorum, tomorrow I will teach you about the Xyxplys.” His top feathers suddenly stiffened. “Be forewarned. Although highly evolved intellectually, the Xyxplys are emotionally fragile and quick to perceive imaginary insults if decorum isn’t carefully followed. They’re quirky that way–easily offended. And if you offend them you will not reap the benefits they can bestow.”
“Fair enough” the Prime Minister agreed, but his expression was one of puzzlement.
The conversation was over.
DAY TWO
Wednesday, December 10th, 2009
Inchu was already there. Without anyone noticing, he had left the spaceship, slipped through a ring of military, a mob of reporters and Parliament of India
The next day two soldiers were sent to escort Inchu back to the Parliament of India, but he wasn’t on the spaceship. Instead, when the Prime Minister with his staff and secret agents arrived at the meeting room, Inchu was already there. Without anyone noticing, he had left the spaceship, slipped through a ring of military, a mob of reporters and Parliament of India staff to find the secured meeting room no one had told him about the day before. It unnerved the Prime Minister and particularly his secret agents.
Standing at the back of the room Inchu waited for everyone to get settled. Then he abruptly began, “The first thing to do when introduced…is to bow. Some of your human cultures already practice that formality. And the second thing after bowing… is to do nothing.” He paused for emphasis. “It’s best, Sir Prime Minister, to allow me to do all the talking, particularly in the beginning. The Xyxplys themselves rarely speak because words to them are sacred. They believe that by saying less, what is said increases in value. So speaking only at the end of a conversation is a sign of respect. Of course, in my humble opinion, that makes for very short conversations.” It was hard to tell if Inchu was joking so no one laughed.
The alien continued. “The Xyxplys find it difficult dealing with other cultures, so they take great care to insulate themselves. In addition to being their translator I serve as a filter to shield their refined sensibilities–but still I must be accurate and complete. Not an easy job, in my humble opinion. The Xyxplys are emotional, you see. Despite all their sophistication, they just want to be loved and they can’t handle rejection. I think you humans can appreciate that.” He watched as one of the staff arose and walked to a table at the side of the room pouring himself a cup of tea.
“What’s that?”
“What’s that?”
“The Prime Minister smiled.”It’s tea, a common beverage. And there’s also barfis. Would you like some?”
Then he grabbed several barfis.
Inchu’s top feathers twitched excitedly. “Certainly.” He stepped quickly across the room and to everyone’s surprise gulped down a whole carafe of hot tea. Then he grabbed several barfis. Returning to the front of the room, he noisily smacked his lips. Powdered sugar from the barfis had somehow ended up on his chin. It was a comical sight that everyone politely ignored.
“That was tasty,” he said “Ah… could I have more tea?”
“Sir, there’s no more tea,” said one of the agents addressing the Prime Minister.
The Prime Minister waved his hand. “Well then, please get another carafe. It’ll only take a minute.”
The agent left the room. Through the door, which had not fully closed, squeezed a short, rotund Basset Hound. It went immediately to the Prime Minister wagging its tail while casting side-glances at Inchu.
Inchu was quite interested, particularly when Blackie left the Prime Minister to approach him, her tail still wagging.
“Hi there, Blackie,” the Prime Minister gently stroked the dog’s back. “Inchu, this is my dog. She just had puppies four weeks ago. What do you think of her?”
Inchu was quite interested, particularly when Blackie left the Prime Minister to approach him, her tail still wagging. He bent over so that his face was almost level with the dog’s and she licked the sugar off his chin. His head feathers danced wildly. “I like her,” he said and then made a noise somewhere between a bark and a whine. It startled everyone in the room, but Blackie woofed in response.
Suddenly, the agent with the tea appeared. “Here’s the tea, Sir.”
At that point Blackie was let out of the room. Inchu drank more tea, after which he continued instructing the Prime Minister.
Rolling his eyes, the little alien continued.
That’s what I learned from your television and radio signals.
“Unfortunately, your culture values things more than words. That’s what I learned from your television and radio signals. For example, when a commercial says a car has a soul, where does that leave a man? In order to add value to a thing, you’ve stolen a word meant only for living beings and devalued it. And in devaluing that word you’ve devalued yourselves. The Xyxplys would never understand and it’s better that they not know about it. In my humble opinion.”
Your world’s libraries are filled with books and are an endless resource for poetry and great writings. Human beings are capable of deep thought and intense emotions and some have a desire to define them.
Inchu patted a tail feather. “On the other hand, your world’s libraries are filled with books and are an endless resource for poetry and great writings. Human beings are capable of deep thought and intense emotions and some have a desire to define them. It is these writings that will appeal to the Xyxplys and they will reward you beyond imagination. As long as they remain on this planet they will bestow gifts, so it’s to your benefit to please them. That’s all I can say.”
He bowed and the meeting was abruptly over.
DAY THREE
December 11th, 2009
The introduction of the Xyxplys was set for noon. Although it was an unusually overcast day, that hadn’t stopped a huge crowd from forming. At two minutes to 12:00 the Prime Minister and four secret agents walked slowly up the red carpet and stopped 20 feet from the craft.
With the opening of a large door, a strange green mist emanated from the craft. Then a long and gently sloped ramp slid out upon which Inchu exited. The murmuring crowd hushed as three figures emerged from behind him. The figures were nearly seven feet tall, rather thin, and covered entirely in grey-green flowing robes and hoods.
With the opening of a large door, a strange green mist emanated from the craft. Then a long and gently sloped ramp slid out upon which Inchu exited. The murmuring crowd hushed as three figures emerged from behind him. The figures were nearly seven feet tall, rather thin, and covered entirely in grey-green flowing robes and hoods. More than anything they resembled Gregorian monks, but it was how they moved that was startling. Although there was not a breath of wind, their robes rippled fluidly and they appeared to pour across the 20 feet coming to rest alongside Inchu and in front of the Prime Minister and the agents.
Inchu’s high voice spoke into the multitude of microphones set up by reporters and it sounded over the PA system. “Members of planet earth, I am pleased to introduce you to the Xyxplys. And, they in turn are very pleased to meet you.” As he said this, the three beings bowed deeply as did the Prime Minister and his agents.
.” Withdrawing something from a hidden pocket, Inchu handed it to the Prime Minister.
Inchu continued, “Supreme Commander, Prime Minister of the India and all citizens of earth, I am pleased to inform you on behalf of the Xyxplys that today they would like you to accept this gift that they offer you without reservation.” Withdrawing something from a hidden pocket, Inchu handed it to the Prime Minister.
Accepting the object, which fit into the palm of his hand, the Prime Minister bowed again. “Thank you.”
Seeing the three Xyxplys nodding from beneath their hoods, Inchu added, “The Xyxplys thank you, too.”
The crowd roared their approval and the first meeting was over.
DAYS FOUR – TWENTY
December 12th, 2009
When the gift was examined, scientists were astounded.
When the gift was examined, scientists were astounded. The Prime Minister had been handed a container that turned out to hold bacteria from a distant planet. Specifically in humans, it resulted in good health was miraculous and the closest thing to a youth elixir that humanity had ever experienced. Furthermore, the bacteria were easily reproduced.
It was an ambitious project requiring scholars of every religion and the United Nations was appointed to coordinate it.
The Prime Minister wished to reciprocate with a gift of equal value and at Inchu’s recommendation commissioned a compendium of sacred writings to be compiled in their original languages. Inchu assured him that as a gift, this would be a delightful surprise for the Xyxplys. It was an ambitious project requiring scholars of every religion and the United Nations was appointed to coordinate it. All nations agreed that no amount of money or effort should be spared to have the gift ready for the next meeting with the Xyxplys.
Mankind became like children at Christmas.
Inchu hadn’t anticipated the effect the Xyxplys would have on their hosts. Mankind became like children at Christmas. While the Xyxplys’s gift of health was reproduced en mass, that was just the beginning.
Everything had to be Xyxplys-related. To accommodate the demand, manufacturers broke all records (nearly those of physics) to get out a plethora of products.
Everything had to be Xyxplys-related. To accommodate the demand, manufacturers broke all records (nearly those of physics) to get out a plethora of products. Overnight Gregorian monk’s garb became the fashion craze, Commercials advertising Xyxplys products had but one theme, life was better with Xyxplys whether you wore Xyxplys clothes or sat on Xyxplys furniture.
The irony was not lost on Inchu who watched commercialism turn the Xyxplys, a race of beings who loved the nonmaterial, into the biggest name brand of all time.
DAY TWENTY-ONE
December 13th, 2009
When the Prime Minister and his staff appeared at the spaceship on Monday noon it was before a vastly different-looking crowd.
When the Prime Minister and his staff appeared at the spaceship on Monday noon it was before a vastly different-looking crowd. This day, upon exiting the craft, the three Xyxplys did not immediately bow. Although their faces couldn’t be seen, it appeared that from beneath the cowls they were turning their heads to examine the crowd. Watching them, Inchu’s head feathers stiffened noticeably and he frowned.
This time it was the Prime Minister who came bearing a gift. The Prime Minister proudly offered the huge book heavy with gold leafing that one of the Xyxplys gingerly accepted, grasping it with long fingers while the other two Xyxplys stretched forward for a closer look. Their grey-green robes cast a greenish hue over the book.
The Prime Minister proudly offered the huge book heavy with gold leafing
“Please accept this gift from mankind,” said the Prime Minister, his voice trembling. “Over 300 of our finest scholars assembled it from our sacred writings.”
Translating, Inchu looked pleased.
Caught up in the moment and almost as an afterthought, the Prime Minister added, “Millions were spent. With its parchment and gold leafing, it’s the most expensive book ever created.”
Inchu’s head feathers quivered the moment the Prime Minister said the most expensive book ever created. He didn’t look pleased. He stopped translating and stared at the Prime Minister. “Ah, Sir Prime Minister, in my humble opinion…” he interrupted, but his warning went unheeded.
“Go on. Tell them,” the Prime Minister urged and Inchu complied.
The reaction was immediate. Shoving the book back at the Prime Minister, which he almost dropped, the three Xyxplys, murmuring bubbling-clicking noises, whipped about and swept back up into the spaceship faster than anybody thought they could move. Inchu followed as closely behind as his spindly legs allowed. Pausing at the ship’s doorway he turned and shrugged as though apologizing just before the metal door slammed shut with a thud.
The Prime Minister and crowd, indeed the whole nation and all of earth were stunned. They felt like children awakening Christmas morning to discover that their presents had been stolen.
The Prime Minister and crowd, indeed the whole nation and all of earth were stunned. They felt like children awakening Christmas morning to discover that their presents had been stolen.
There was no further contact with the Xyxplys although vigorous attempts were made using a PA system as well as radio and television waves and banging on the spaceship doors
There was no further contact with the Xyxplys although vigorous attempts were made using a PA system as well as radio and television waves and banging on the spaceship doors. Now nobody anywhere talked about anything except the Xyxplys and why they had so abruptly left the gathering. Earth commiserated.
THE END